Hatred is the sign and the expression of loneliness, of unwor-
thiness, of insufficiency. And in so far as each one of us is
lonely, is unworthy, each one hates himself. Some of us are
aware of this self-hatred, and because of it we reproach
ourselves and punish ourselves needlessly. . . . Others, who
are less conscious of their own self-hatred, realize it in a
different form by projecting it onto others. 1
Thomas Merton would be at the top of my list as the person I'd like to hang out with at a dinner party. Forget a party, though, we can just hang out under New Mexico's starry sky with a swirling bonfire and enough libations to encourage an in-depth conversation. I will play devil's advocate.
[And sadly, yes, I know, it will have to be Merton's ghost]
The opening quote is interesting in light of the growing loneliness epidemic. The use of unworthiness - I just saw a statistic that stated that 75% of women executives feel unworthy. Frankly, if it plays out in the corporate boardroom it is going to play out in the bedroom and any other room that one occupies. It is a vicious cycle, too, because Merton is correct, it perpetuates self-hate. I'm no corporate boss person but by the fourth rejection this week in my little world, I was quite ready for the Spotify playlist that is called "lonely, unworthy, & self-loathing".
Is there a silver lining? Maybe, and this is where I disagree with Merton because he goes on to imply that we project our hate onto others which perpetuates evil. To heal, we need to get back to basics, understand our ego, a self-constructed illusion that ‘has’ our body and part of our soul at its disposal because it has ‘taken over’ the functions of the inner self, as a result of what we call man’s ‘fall’. A beautiful sentiment but it is one in the morning so I will dream on it...maybe Merton will visit. ~ a
poet under construction 